Honda's new Pilot commercial makes Weezer seem lame

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
08/03/2015 at 17:15 • Filed to: None

Many years ago, Honda made deceptively fun mainstream cars. Now, they’ve resorted to selling minivans 3-row crossovers by playing on the nostalgia of sad sack parents who grew up in the 90s and maybe once were cool, or at least watched MTV a few times.

Best I can tell, the message of this commercial is that if you take your oh-so-hip but not actually hip family (Apple products make this a hip family according to Honda—look at the cute little girl’s red Beats headphones!) on a road trip in a Honda Pilot, when boredom sets in, your kids will be so inspired by riding in a Honda Pilot that they will put down their copious amounts of Apple products and erupt into a happy go lucky kumbaya fucking singalong of a song that was once a lot of fun when the parents were in high school.

Dad, who up until this point looks like he is lamenting the series of unfortunate events that have conspired against him to press him into service as a long-distance Uber driver for a bunch of brats with iPhones, will actually crack a smile. Because Honda Pilot.

For some reason grandpa is being carted along on this merry fucking journey of crushed dreams, wedged into the third row, for no purpose other than to show that in commercial-land, a full-sized adult human fits in the third row of a Honda Pilot. Where’s grandma? Did she die? Can’t we give grandpa a better seat than way in the back? Sorry gramps, we couldn’t actually bother to have you in focus in any of the shots in this commercial. I’m sure the actor who plays you was paid handsomely.

Fuck you Honda, for appropriating what used to be a fun part of my middle school years, until I watched this commercial. I will accept compensation in the form of a 2002 NSX-R converted to left-hand drive, a new Civic Type-R, and an Odyssey with the vacuum to cart around my nonexistent gaggle of Android-using kids who if they were real, would beat up the singsongy fuckers in this shitshow.